Introducing Elspeth Bakerman, aka Eleanor Shellstrop (The Good Place)

[nola_eleanor]

Previously, she was Eleanor Shellstrop from the show The Good Place. Eleanor died, but that was really just the beginning. Even she couldn't really tell you everything that happened (probably because she kept getting rebooted, all her memories of the time after her death erased), but there are some things she does know. There's a Good Place, and a Bad Place. The first time she died, she went to the Bad Place, which was disguised as the Good Place as a new way to torture humans. There's a Judge, who she's met, and who gave her a second chance on Earth. There's a points system to determine who goes to which Place, and it's become severely screwed up. And then there's Team Cockroach, the Soul Squad: three fellow humans (Chidi, Jason, and Tahani), an immortal demon named Michael, and Janet, a not-robot who knows literally everything in the universe. They're trying to fix the system, help humanity become better, and maybe, if they're lucky, end up in the real Good Place.

Now she's Elspeth Bakerman, 28. Elspeth was raised by two clueless but well-meaning dads. She had to figure a lot of things out for herself, but it's made her into a highly self-reliant adult. Not that she's confident about that, or much of anything else. Elspeth tends to swing between arrogance and crippling self-doubt from moment to moment, but underneath it all she's actually both smart and competent. Her philosophy of life is pretty much fake it til you make it, and no one's better at faking it than her (in her opinion, anyway). That's how she ended up managing the front of house of a well-known French Quarter restaurant, or at least that's what she'll tell you if you ask. She's actually really good at figuring out who works well with who and how to calm an unhappy customer—though she definitely doesn't tolerate abuse from customers, especially when it's directed at her staff, and has actually banned several people from the restaurant. Don't get on her Douchenozzle List, or she'll not only kick you out of her restaurant, but warn every other establishment in the French Quarter of exactly the kind of service you deserve.

Elspeth dishes out compliments and insults in the same sarcastic, exasperated tone of voice and is sexually attracted to way too many people. She has a lot of feelings that tend to spill out everywhere at really inconvenient moments and is so bad at lying that people can't believe someone could be that bad at lying and end up believing her. She's…colorful, in other words. As is her language. Also she throws really great parties that her roommate really should learn to appreciate, but whatever. More booze and people to flirt with for her!

Elspeth is currently unaware.

Comments

Hookup pals!

[nola_wash]

Buddy met Elspeth after picking her up on one of his ridesharing shifts. Elspeth was maybe drunk but very flirty and invited him in -- and Buddy went! They occasionally meet up to hook up.

Ex-girlfriends!

[nola_chuck]

Look, Anna is a bit of a disaster when it comes to follow-through. When she and Elspeth met on an app, it was such a change of pace from disastrous dates and personality mismatches. They hit it off. Like, they REALLY hit it off. Anna had real feelings for Elspeth; she was super into her wit and resourcefulness. The problem was, Anna had no real tools to deal with loving someone, and with hindsight, maybe, she can now see that Elspeth didn't either. They both pulled back from this great, promising thing, and now, for the most part, Anna pretends Elspeth doesn't exist. Yeah, she knows it sucks. She knows it ended poorly. But you see, whenever they see each other now, like at parties, they either sleep together or try to be friends but then the feelings come back and she can't!! do!! these!! feelings!! so it all falls apart all over again. Basically, Elspeth is a tangible representation of Anna's desires, failings, and unfulfilled dreams. Don't ask her about it unless you're both drunk.

one night stand!

[nola_joshlyman]

Diego just broke up with his girlfriend of 10 years. in a restaurant. She stormed out of the restaurant, Diego ordered some whisky... and then, it seems, he went home with the woman working front of house. He has her number because, as she said colorfully, they could smash again. He's not sure about that.

Kyle doesn't know how to categorize this

[nola_flash]

once he was getting a tattoo and a friend of Oliver's came in to "hold his hand" and then later they made out and it was weird and then things just kept happening and he's still not sure, it was kind of a blur, a blur he later learned was named Elspeth.

god don't even get her started

[nola_buffy]

Carrie and Elspeth have known each other since the first grade. Sometimes, they were friends, and sometimes they were enemies, but mostly, they existed somewhere in the middle: the snark-ridden land of the frenemy. Carrie thinks Elspeth is genuinely hilarious but also a train wreck of a human, and she knows Elspeth thinks she's a spoiled princess, which is hilarious, for all the wrong reasons.

And okay, sure, there were a few times when they were 17 that things got weird... and one incident in the locker room that went way too far and may or may not have one of the most significant sexual experiences of Carrie's life... and maybe there was that make out that time but actually NEVER MIND any of that, okay? Elspeth is just a person in Carrie's orbit that just never goes away. Will they be actual friends again? God, who knows. The last time they were real friends, they were 10 years old.

Hookup

[nola_elphaba]

They had sex in the bathroom at a pride party once.

and then later that night at some house party, when they randomly crossed paths again.

it was awesome.

casual exes!

[nola_shawn]

Ben and Elspeth dated casually for a while. It was clear pretty quickly that it wasn't going to go anywhere, but they're good pals and still hang out -- Ben is at most of her parties -- and sometimes they hook up, but it's never serious.

Lovers

[nola_sirius]

Elspeth was already into Dominic when they met once at Pride, but it's the way she asks him to "talk philosophy to me" that seems to really get her going. Which Dominic loves. They're great friends with absolutely no structure to their friendship; they'll cross paths on the street and immediately cancel all their plans to talk about life and the universe for hours. And then have sex. They're just simpatico on a lot of levels, but they meet each other as free spirits: no obligations, no expectations. Just hot making out, sexual experimentation, and moral philosophy talk.

no.

[nola_cyclops]

Elspeth is a friend of Samuel's roommate and everything about her wants him to dissolve from inside out, destroying every living cell in his body so he doesn't have to be around her or her weird chaotic energy.

best bros

[nola_athena]

Lucy needed a roommates and enter Elspeth, who didn't insist that Lucy redecorate or even mind that Lucy wanted to keep her things around the apartment, rather than sharing all that floor space. Lucy makes herself scarce when Elspeth's parties get too loud or too weird, but they're good friends -- they watch action movies together, and once they binge watched a long, windy drama series together. They share wine, sometimes split meals (Elspeth brings home AMAZING food), and it's a good arrangement.

Friends!

[nola_quicksilver]

Oliver can't remember how he met Elspeth, but she's absolutely one of his favorite people for sure. There's a lot of gossip and burns when they're together, and laughter too. So far things haven't gotten too deep, but Oliver would absolutely show up with a baseball bat if Elspeth needed backup. There's an open offer of a wrist tattoo if she wants it.

Coworkers/friends?

[nola_mickrory]

Irene and Elspeth work in the same French Quarter restaurant. Irene's known for being terse and kind of an asshole, but Eleanor makes her laugh and can actually do her job correctly, so Irene has a soft spot for her. She's always down for a drink after closing or to put together a meal to go for Elspeth.

Self!

[nola_eleanor]

The sexiest bench she's ever met. A legit snack.

Buds

[nola_grantaire]

Gabriel met Eleanor at a party -- her party? Maybe? Gabe doesn't care where the party is, only that he can be there. They talked about nazi punching, hot people, and memes about both. They hit it off! She is saved in his phone as ELSPETH (laughing cat emoji, salt shaker emoji).

the ex of Ivy's ex(?) is everyone's ex

[nola_willow]

Ivy went on two dates with Elspeth before she realized that SHE was the girl that Anna always talked about like she was carrying around the world's most dramatic baggage, and Ivy didn't feel like being a wlw stereotype by dating ALL the same people as everyone she knows. They still had sex on that second date though. What? Elspeth is hot.

Makeout partner

[nola_jeangrey]

It's good manners to make out with the party host, right? Honestly, Katie still thinks they were unfairly interrupted. They should probably make out again.

Um?

[nola_santiago]

Carmen never hooks up with her patients. Except for that one time.

High School Somethings

[nola_peralta]

Zeke and his sister were in one of their pretend-the-other-doesn't-exist phases in high school, and he needed someone else to help get him into trouble. Enter Elspeth. They didn't date, exactly, or maybe they did--it was always hard to tell with Elspeth--but she did end up being a lot of his sexual firsts. He's still not sure which firsts, if any, he was for her. Probably more than she let on. More importantly, she was the first person (other than his sister) that he ever told he was bi. They bonded a lot over that.

He's also pretty sure she made out with his sister once at a party where they were all drinking, but he tries not to think about that.