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May. 13th, 2019 06:38 amIf people could stop telling other people how to celebrate holidays, or even that they have to celebrate a holiday at all, that would be awesome. I don't have a mom, and that's okay. Repeated for those in the back: I DON'T HAVE A MOM, AND THAT'S OKAY. Yes, obviously someone got pregnant, carried me for approximately nine months, and gave birth to me. I know who that woman is, she even contributed half my genetic material. But that woman is not my mother, and that's okay. She conceived and carried me, knowing she was not going to be my mother. In fact, she conceived and carried me for the express purpose of not being my mother. I am not missing anything because she's never been in my life. I do not need to celebrate Mother's Day because of her.
Someone else could be in my exact same position, and decide that the woman in that position IS their mother, and should be celebrated in some way for Mother's Day. That's fine! Do your thing! But I don't have a mother, I have two fathers. I have always had two fathers, even if the law didn't recognize that for all of my childhood and most of my adulthood so far, too. How much you wanna bet the same people who feel bad for me because I never had a mother are the same ones who made my family as legally precarious as possible for all those years?
Just because someone made it possible for you to exist, doesn't make them a parent. And just because someone is a parent, doesn't mean they deserve to be celebrated. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to buy into bullshit notions of what certain things mean if those definitions aren't true for you.
And no, I don't buy flowers or do anything for my dads on Mother's Day. I know some people do, but that just doesn't work for me. To me it implies that they're a replacement for a mother, that they did something only a mother could do and therefore have to be celebrated on a day for mothers. Nope. They're fathers, and they are the only parents I've ever needed. So when Father's Day rolls around, LET THE CELEBRATING HAPPEN. (That Father's Day falls during Pride Month basically just makes it a huge-ass party for us. Though admittedly their parties, and their Pride, are a lot tamer than mine. *cough*)
Someone else could be in my exact same position, and decide that the woman in that position IS their mother, and should be celebrated in some way for Mother's Day. That's fine! Do your thing! But I don't have a mother, I have two fathers. I have always had two fathers, even if the law didn't recognize that for all of my childhood and most of my adulthood so far, too. How much you wanna bet the same people who feel bad for me because I never had a mother are the same ones who made my family as legally precarious as possible for all those years?
Just because someone made it possible for you to exist, doesn't make them a parent. And just because someone is a parent, doesn't mean they deserve to be celebrated. Don't let anyone tell you that you have to buy into bullshit notions of what certain things mean if those definitions aren't true for you.
And no, I don't buy flowers or do anything for my dads on Mother's Day. I know some people do, but that just doesn't work for me. To me it implies that they're a replacement for a mother, that they did something only a mother could do and therefore have to be celebrated on a day for mothers. Nope. They're fathers, and they are the only parents I've ever needed. So when Father's Day rolls around, LET THE CELEBRATING HAPPEN. (That Father's Day falls during Pride Month basically just makes it a huge-ass party for us. Though admittedly their parties, and their Pride, are a lot tamer than mine. *cough*)
